No, I don’t know how to make this sound French (“Fronch toast, Fronch Fries, Fronch Dressing…”). I can only guarantee that you’ll like this side dish and it will make your pee smell funny unless you’re one of the vast minority who produces the goods to break it down better than the rest of us. Keep that info to yourself, though, because we really don’t want to hear about it.
Stuff You’ll Need: a potato peeler, a cookie sheet or shallow baking pan that’s about an inch deep; tongs; hands of some sort
The Grub You’ll Need: a bundle of green asparagus (I’ve never used the white ones…); salt and pepper; olive oil
What You Do: Preheat your oven to 350. cut off the last two inches or so of the asparagus; it’s bland and woody flavored, so…you know…ICK. Then, and this is the part that takes a while, use your potato peeler to trim off the little leaves that grow along the stalk of the plant. You don’t have to go all the up the stalk, but at least up until about two inches of the “plume” on the top.
Cook these bad boys at 350 for about 15 minutes, then use tongs to scoot them around a bit. It’ll be impossible to make sure you’ve turned every single one perfectly, so just eyeball it. Cook another 15 minutes or so, or however long your oven takes to make them just a little crunchy but not black.
I don’t remember where I saw this recipe, so I hereby give credit to the following just in case: Giada, Tony, Mario, Ina, Rachel, Jamie, Alton, my Mom, Chesty Puller, and Elvis.