Pre-Rapture Playbook

First off: I’m a Christian and I don’t think The Rapture will be tomorrow. My Bible says that, in so many words, it’ll be a surprise…kind of like the monkey popping out if the jack-in-the-box: you know it’s coming and the wait may or may not be pleasant depending on how happy you are cranking the handle.

(okay, that was dumb, but you get the idea…)

Secondly: crack-pot radio jocks with a voice and bad motives give “normal” Christians a bad name as well as a belly ache. They rank up there with Westboro and the Bakers. “please, just shut UP” is a pretty common sentiment.

…like being a Republican the last 9 months of W’s term…

That being said: are you prepared for The Rapture? I believe Jesus “will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead….”. Even if you don’t believe in Jesus (and you should), one of these days the world will end for you, too. I don’t know when Jesus will come back, don’t know when I’ll die…do you know when you will die? All we can do is hope that it’s later, a lot later, rather than sooner.

I’d like to think I’ve said all to be said, hugged all who needed hugged, loved all who needed to be loved…but I haven’t. I still have Good Work to do before I’m taken. I need to show patience and understanding and kindness one more time…I need to hug my kids, kiss my husband, and call my distant family one more precious time.

…that, and I’m still waiting for season 4 of “Sons of Anarchy” and season 2 of “Walking Dead”…

So…terrible scholarship and wretched theology aside, Mr. Jackwagon has given us all something to think about…

(cue music…) “it’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!”

PS: if I haven’t told you lately…I love you. You’re appreciated. And I’m grateful to have known you. ❤

…now, who's hungry?

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4 thoughts on “Pre-Rapture Playbook

    1. Um…hold on. (rummages through enormous carpet bag which smells of Cheetos and Pitchouli)

      My crystal ball says, “my sources say yes.”

      …perhaps you should’ve asked: “does the impending rapture-frenzy have anything to do with Oprah canceling her show or Arnold’s Love Child?”

      Happy Anniversary. Tomorrow. I mean for tomorrow. You know what I mean. 🙂

  1. You know; what could it hurt to be a christian and believe that Jesus Christ is your savior; if you die and we’re wrong you’ve lost nothing, but if you choose not to; let’s just say you’ll have an eternity to ponder on that.
    Yes I’m hungry!!!!

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