My dad works in the oil fields of West Texas, and has since I was about 2. He has little tolerance for “worms” (new, lazy, stupid workers) and he expects his “hands” (workers) to earn their keep. That means: don’t be stupid, don’t die, don’t get anybody else killed, and don’t be stupid.
I’ve picked up a few of his sayings.
“I gotta go to a Donkey Bar-B-Q on Monday.” (an ass eating; unpleasant meeting with one’s bosses)
“The dog house ain’t much for sleepin’.” (that tiny domicile is not for lounging. Get out and throw more chain.)
“You and me, we just got cross-threaded.” (we’ve experienced an unfortunate misunderstanding. This may or may not result in violence.)
“My Greezers need a hose. Maybe I should just burn ’em.” (my uniform is rather soiled.)
“That asshole in Washington spits nothin’ but Argle Bargle.” (that career politian lies a lot.)
“That asshole in Washington gives nothin’ but BS&W.” (that career politician offers bullshit and water instead of quality leadership.)
“You better straighten up and fly right or I’m gonna Wooly Booger your sorry ass.” (Behave properly, lest you receive an unfortunate cleansing of your colon with a rather cruel looking and enormously bristled plunger.)
“I’m worn slick.” (I have worked so hard, the tread on my boots is gone and I’m rather tired.)
I’ve Zumba’d, I’ve dug deep with the Insanity workout, i’ve cleaned, the laundry is done, dinner is in the works, and now it’s nap time. I been plum worn slick. Time for shut-eye.
(this is not to say that working in the oil fields is as easy as all that. It just means that I’m tired and my dad probably wouldn’t hire me.) 😉