I Don’t Wanna be Skinny

I really, really don’t want to be skinny.

Yeah, I joined Weight Watchers, but not to get model-skinny. My weight had ballooned until my knees hurt and I couldn’t run the way I wanted to. Also, I ate Krispy Kreme like rabbits eat carrots, so…ya…I needed some guidance with my eating habits. I’ve lost 20 pounds, a few dress sizes, and my knees don’t hurt anymore. I’m not done losing weight, but today I saw something that really made me pause.

I saw a skinny girl try to do Zumba.

Let me be clear about something: skinny girls cannot Zumba. It’s a mechanical impossibility.

Yeah, they can move their feet, and their bones to the music…sort of…but it’s a lot like watching “Dem Bones” on PBS. (remember that cartoon short? all angles, black back ground, and smiling skulls?)

To do Zumba, you gotta have a booty. I don’t mean a butt, ’cause everybody has a butt. Your Grandma has a butt. I’m talking Junk in your Trunk, jiggle-juggle booty. You gotta have thighs and curves. And yeah…you gotta have hips. Boobs help.

Why is meat on your bones required equipment? ‘Cause there’s nothing sexy about a skeleton. Zumba is sexy. Zumba is shakin’ what your momma gave you…and perhaps whatever you’ve added with babies and Krispy Kreme and weight lifting. Zumba is movement, and while there are men who do it, it’s a decidedly feminine type of movement. Skinny, scrawny girls are not sexy on a good day. They look like twelve year old boys. Then, throw in some music and watch them try to cha-cha…what you have is…disturbing at best. Mostly it makes me laugh. And feel sorry for them. And want to offer them a sandwich with mayo and extra cheese.

Muscles on a chic are hot. A little jiggle in your britches is cute. Curves are a hallmark of womanhood.

Bones? Bones are for dogs to chew on. And even they prefer some meat.

Added after initial publication: since there’s nothing like opinions to get the blood pumping and people talking, here’s the original post after my first ever Zumba class. The purpose of the post “I Don’t Wanna be Skinny”, is to illustrate that sometimes it pays to be a bigger girl. As in “skinny girls don’t have all the fun.” As in “love your curves.” As in “pass the potatoes, I am hungry.”

(places hand on hip, raises eye brows) And if you interpret this as “this girl don’t like skinny girls” then, Gurrrrrl…you are wrong like leg warmers and monkey brains.

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10 thoughts on “I Don’t Wanna be Skinny

  1. Skinny girls need exersize too 🙂 sometimes exersize is for the point of exersize, not always about trying to loose weight. Maybe she needed some new moves, too!

    🙂
    Happy Holidays, Yert, I wish you and your family lots of love and joy!
    xoxo

    1. Oh, my dear Ginger, you bring me joy. 🙂

      I’m not talking about the thin, shiny girls that still look like girls. I was trying, badly I guess, to highlight a sad issue: that so many women are ashamed of their womanly curves. Ashamed enough to engage in unhealthy behaviors. I did that once; I almost went bald trying to be “skinny”.

      Thin and strong and healthy=good
      Skinny and weak and boney=not good

      I got called “thick” once during class. Apparently that’s the ultimate compliment. When once I wanted to be a waif, thick is a bit of alright now.

      Merry Christmas, my beautiful friend. I’m so glad you’re in my blogging life! ❤

  2. I’m sorry, but blogs and post like these really tick me off. I am 27 years old and have 2 children a 7 and soon to be 3 year old. I am one of the unfortunate women who don’t gain weight. 5’2 and 103 lbs. But people like you are the reason why I am out of shape. I know i shouldn’t care what people say but if your constantly being reminded how skinny you are sarcastically you can only imagine what their thinking or saying behind your back. So yeah because of your post (which i found googling if Skinny girls should use Zumba) I am once again reminded that i would only be ridiculed if i step into a gym or a Zumba class. So thank you for being so naive when it comes to weight not all skinny girls want to be skinny!

    1. Thanks for your comment. (really.) And yes, I am sarcastic and naive and sometimes (often, actually) not very nice at all. Am I the majority? Nope. Are there skinny girls out there doing Zumba and dancing circles around my fat arss? You betcha. So screw what others (I) think about you and your scrawny butt. Dance your heart out. Have a good time! Remember this, though: if my fat butt can line up to run a marathon and get nasty looks for even dreaming of a finisher’s medal (i have two medals for a full marathon and 8 for halves) you can get your bones out on a dance floor. Allowing someone like myself, who you’ve never met, to determine your fitness (life expectancy and quality) is suicide by proxy and lazy.

      Suck it up and dance.

  3. hahaha this made me laugh! I recently tried a zumba class for the first time and I laughed myself silly watching myself in the mirror because I know no matter how hard I tried, there was no way I would be able to pull off the moves! Unfortunately I have the typical 12-year-old body type that you described! Even tweeted afterwards that some booty and boobs would have been great! Funny how so many people complain about their weight and lust after that skinny look but don’t appreciate what their mommas gave them! I would kill for a bit more of an ass and to go up a cup size or 3! Thanks for the post! I did have a chuckle ;P

    1. There’s no “unfortunately” to your 12 year old body type. 🙂 But I am glad this made you laugh, as it’s really pissed some people off. I think Zumba is the funniest when I don’t know what I’m doing (which is ALL the time!). And if it’s ass you need, I have plenty to share. …if only technology could work on an “ass loaner” system…

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