On Being Joyfully Hopeful & Patient. Dammit.

2014! So full of promise! So much wonder! Goals- achieved! Races- won! Fingernails- painted!

Adjusting fire when it comes to goals really sucks, especially when the reason for the adjustment is a really good reason. A perfectly adult and justified and necessary reason. That stuff makes adjustment even more of a no-good-time-having.

I really was going to conquer MCM this year.

Really and truly.

Like, for reals.

But now I refer to a post I wrote last year about it being perfectly fine, this sitting out of races business. I said all sorts of high-minded crap about patience and work and delayed gratifica-blablahblah.

I don’t want to wait anymore.

Sadly, races cost money and we are in full blown saving for a rainy day mode. Trust, in today’s economy, rainy days can come swiftly and silently, so I am all for this penny-pinching exercise. It’s the right thing to do. It just sucks.

I’ve been very indulged in the past. We’ve spent enough money on races and hotels to probably buy that James Bond car. (Pick one.) I’ve been supported and coddled and had “go, Mommy!” posters made. I’ve signed up for races, only to have to DNS for whatever reason; money wasted… I’ve had friends run and call and donate… I am not deprived of experience.

I’m probably a spoiled brat, is what I am.

So. This is me: continuing to train with the best coach ever, staying motivated, saving lots of money for whatever adult, responsible stuff we will need, and being super-duper happy about sitting out of every.single.race. this year. I’ll volunteer at races, supporting those other Dreamers, hand them their Gatoraide and cheer them through their rough patches. I’ll be so cheerful and helpful and I’ll stay motivated for my own Big Bling Dreams.

Dammit.

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