Square One. …okay maybe Two or Three

I have not been taking Weight Watchers seriously for quite a while. If WW was a church, it would be safe to say that I’ve back-slidden and forgotten the hymns.

I’m not going to tell you how much weight I’ve gained because it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that my new clothes from Title 9 that I was soooo excited about just barely fit now. My activity level is down, even while training for the Marine Corps marathon.

How can I train for a marathon and still gain weight? By following this easy plan:
1) eat whatever I want while thinking: “I’ll run it off.”
2) don’t track food or activity
3) fail to remember that running 3 miles is only worth 5 points and a second helping of speghetti is worth 13.

Weight loss is achieved by creating a calorie deficit. Even if I ran 10 miles and thus earned 14 points, consuming 42 points (two cookies, some chocolate milk, a hamburger, Grandma’s cake…) will earn me a weight gain. Even I can figure that out.

I’m disappointed in myself, however, I have determined to get my mojo back. I will return to my routine: a meeting every Friday, tracking and measuring, accruing Activity Points every day, drinking water like a fiend, blogging and recording goals… I know the system works; I just have to work the system.

With vacation behind me, FRG duties coming to a head, and school starting soon, I am quickly eliminating my excuse file.

So be prepared. Friday morning I will attend my first meeting in months and the scale will make me cry and I’ll vent again. …but that just means that I have a loss to look forward to next week.

Cheers, all! Here’s to getting my groove back.

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Coffee Hiatus

Today is the 11th day without coffee.

I am, strangely enough, conscious and relatively alert.

I didn’t set out to quit coffee. I got really, really sick last week; I had a blinding/numbing/vomit inducing migraine for a solid 36 hours. Before that, I thought I was catching the flu or possibly on my way toward Zombie-Dom. About 24 hours into my headache/soul-crushing suck-fest, I got an eMail from the Husband. It said, roughly, “since you’re already miserable, quit coffee while you’re at it. Face it: you’re an addict.”

I had a lot of time to think about that as I lay in the fetal position on my bathroom floor wishing for decapitation.

When my headache subsided to a dull roar, I drank a cup of tea and ate half a banana. Then water, then more water… And it occurred to me that I was grossly dehydrated. I hadn’t peed for almost two days. That counts as renal failure in certain circles.

I don’t blame coffee, I blame my addiction to it as well as to the foof I put in it. Drinking coffee got in the way of drinking water. Not drinking water is not conducive to running a marathon, finishing a Zumba class, or even keeping one’s eyeballs inflated.

And the foof?! Oh, my, the unnatural crap I was ingesting in the name of My Morning Cup of Coffee! No more high-fructose corn syrup! No more supporting Nestle and that company’s pro-abortion politics! The fact that I am now completely carrageenan-free is enough excuse to throw a party!

And then I remembered- I haven’t had fun in Zumba for a good long while because i get so tired half-way through. I’ve wanted to puke after my training runs. I haven’t been sleeping properly and the fibroid tumors in my breasts have been causing excruciating pain, so much so that I had been tearing up just putting on a bra. (it is well documented that caffeine increases the discomfort associated with these tumors)

Also of note: when I go for a run greater than, say, eight miles, I experience what it’s like to search frantically for a portajon significant intestinal discomfort. I’ve heard that caffeine can exacerbate that problem, but had been choosing to ignore it. That’s a bad idea because I can’t exactly stop for a latte and potty break in the middle of a marathon.

And all this is really extra stupid because part of Weight Watchers is ensuring proper water intake. But here’s the second part to this: I haven’t been tracking properly, either. I’ve been the same weight, give or take three pounds, since Christmas. I’m still shrinking out of my clothes, but I really haven’t noticed significant muscle gains.

So, yeah, I’ve not had coffee for a while. I don’t think I’ve quit it, though, just postponing drinking it until I can reasonably ensure I won’t go apey over it again. And I will never go back to putting crap in my coffee; when I go back to it, I will drink my Mystic Monk coffee without carrageenan and guilt.

Anyway, I still take in caffeine, just in milder forms and not nearly as much as I once did. I have a cup of black tea in the morning (about half the caffeine of coffee), then at lunch I have a green tea, then in the afternoon I have a white tea. I actually look forward to bed time, now, and wake up feeling fairly…normal. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s nice to know that I really am an energetic person without espresso eeping through my veins.

I’ve gone on some significant training runs this past week and tomorrow will be one of the last before Bataan: three hours on my feet, for however long I can go, at whatever pace I can maintain steadily. Instead of powergel with x2 caffeine, i’m taking along water and coconut water with chia seeds. ๐Ÿ™‚ I never thought I could get out of bed without the promise of java waiting for me downstairs, let alone attempt a marathon without it.

…I still love that intoxicating smell of espresso and paper when I walk into Barnes & Noble, though…

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Everyone’s a Winner

If you’re like me and made a New Year’s Resolution to be healthier this year than last, Dacia has initiated a fun contest to give us all a boost! Check out her blog here, enter her Monica’s Birthday Challenge, and get moving. Cheers!

Here are some random photos for your entertainment…

Maggie would like to ride shotgun in the Mach6...and she thinks Speed is "dreamy"...this is a random photo of my Grandma's old silo. That's it.

I Don’t Wanna be Skinny

I really, really don’t want to be skinny.

Yeah, I joined Weight Watchers, but not to get model-skinny. My weight had ballooned until my knees hurt and I couldn’t run the way I wanted to. Also, I ate Krispy Kreme like rabbits eat carrots, so…ya…I needed some guidance with my eating habits. I’ve lost 20 pounds, a few dress sizes, and my knees don’t hurt anymore. I’m not done losing weight, but today I saw something that really made me pause.

I saw a skinny girl try to do Zumba.

Let me be clear about something: skinny girls cannot Zumba. It’s a mechanical impossibility.

Yeah, they can move their feet, and their bones to the music…sort of…but it’s a lot like watching “Dem Bones” on PBS. (remember that cartoon short? all angles, black back ground, and smiling skulls?)

To do Zumba, you gotta have a booty. I don’t mean a butt, ’cause everybody has a butt. Your Grandma has a butt. I’m talking Junk in your Trunk, jiggle-juggle booty. You gotta have thighs and curves. And yeah…you gotta have hips. Boobs help.

Why is meat on your bones required equipment? ‘Cause there’s nothing sexy about a skeleton. Zumba is sexy. Zumba is shakin’ what your momma gave you…and perhaps whatever you’ve added with babies and Krispy Kreme and weight lifting. Zumba is movement, and while there are men who do it, it’s a decidedly feminine type of movement. Skinny, scrawny girls are not sexy on a good day. They look like twelve year old boys. Then, throw in some music and watch them try to cha-cha…what you have is…disturbing at best. Mostly it makes me laugh. And feel sorry for them. And want to offer them a sandwich with mayo and extra cheese.

Muscles on a chic are hot. A little jiggle in your britches is cute. Curves are a hallmark of womanhood.

Bones? Bones are for dogs to chew on. And even they prefer some meat.

Added after initial publication: since there’s nothing like opinions to get the blood pumping and people talking, here’s the original post after my first ever Zumba class. The purpose of the post “I Don’t Wanna be Skinny”, is to illustrate that sometimes it pays to be a bigger girl. As in “skinny girls don’t have all the fun.” As in “love your curves.” As in “pass the potatoes, I am hungry.”

(places hand on hip, raises eye brows) And if you interpret this as “this girl don’t like skinny girls” then, Gurrrrrl…you are wrong like leg warmers and monkey brains.

Update on Christmas Goals

Well, I’ve already failed at posting the Advent Readings every day, so here are a few for the upcoming days and a review of what’s already passed:

1) Sunday

GEN 1:24-28 (globe)

2) Monday

GEN 3:1-24 (snake and apples)

3)Tuesday (yesterday)

GEN 6:11-22, 8:6-12, 9:11-17 (rainbow)

4)Wednesday (today)

GEN 12:1-7, 13:2-18, 18:1 (camel)

5) Thursday (tomorrow)

GEN 18:1-15; 21:1-7 (baby)

6) Friday

GEN 22:1-14 (ram)

7) Saturday

GEN 27:41-28:22 (ladder)

As to the other goals, I’m doing much better. ๐Ÿ™‚

Races:

1) I’ve signed up for a 5k in December. This meets the goal I set to sign up for a Christmastime 5k. Ryan’s Reindeer Run benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society; also, we’ll get antlers. Amazeballz!

2) Nike+ Women’s Half-Marathon in January, 2012 and the Bataan Memorial Death March in March, 2012. These two races fulfill the goal I set to sign up for two big races for next year, however, the other two races I’d really like to do are the Flying Pirate Half-Marathon in April and (of course..as always..no surprise here) the Marine Corps Marathon in October.

a) the Nike+ Women’s Half Marathon Benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

b) for the Bataan Memorial Death March (BMDM), I’ve signed up for the the 26.2 mile Heavy Division. What this means: I will carry a backpack that weighs no less than 35#. That 35# will consist of kids’ lunch boxes filled with dried food stuffs (beans, rice, etc.); these lunch boxes will be given to the hungry children of New Mexico.

c) if you’d like to support these causes, that would be great. Here’s a link to the
LLS. If you’d like to sponsor a kid’s lunch box, please donate $5 to the Fisher House. eMail me your receipt (yerttography@gmail.com) and I’ll personally match your donation by purchasing the lunch box and filling it with the food. …also, by carrying it on my back for 26.2 miles of mountainous, sandy terrain and having it weighed at the finish line.

d) what this means: three charities will be helped out here; LLS, Fisher House, and the local food pantry at White Sands Missile Range, NM. It also means that you get to feel like awesome-sauce for making a difference in the world. ๐Ÿ™‚

e) blogging buddies: if you link to this page and help me spread the word about my charity deal-ios, I’ll link back to you, too. ๐Ÿ™‚ Fair’s Fair! You scratch my back, I’ll pick your nose! Tit for t… you get the idea.

Yoga

I’ve done yoga once so far this week, attended zumba yesterday, and am going for a run tonight. I’ll do yoga before bed to stretch, am going to zumba again tomorrow, and will do yoga tomorrow night before bed. This will meet my goal of doing yoga three times for this week.

Weight

I haven’t weighed in yet for this week. Wish me luck. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you’re in the mood to win something, pop on over to my blogging buddy Dacia‘s site and enter to win her contest. It’s a super easy entry and you get to pick your prize!

Squidward & Patrick say 'hello'

I hope everyone is having a wonderful first week of Advent! Cheers!

Christmas Goals

I’m sending this out into the Great Cosmic Void that is the Internet only because I need some sort of accountability. I know there are those Out There who relish the task of keeping others on track and pointing out shortcomings.

Useful Mammals, they are.

Goals to Meet by Christmas, 2011:

1) Don’t gain weight.
Losing may not be an option with fudge in the house, but I hope to at least maintain.

2) Post all of the Advent readings.

3) Make at least 5 gifts by hand.
This means that some of you may get macaroni art.

4) Do yoga at least 3x per week.

5) Register for a Christmastime 5k and two big races for next year.

6) Refrain from selling the children on eBay. …this could be tough…

Have you set goals for the year’s end? What are they and what’s your plan of execution?

Cheers!

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Lost: a Turkey

I weighed in this morning and recorded a loss of 1.2pounds for the week. Super happy about this, as The Husband made reindeer food (chex cereal, chocolate, peanut butter, a barrel of powdered sugar) and the bowl has been sitting on the counter now for a week. I did make a point to drink lots of water, eat veggies by the bucket full, and move my body more. All together, I’ve now lost (drum roll please…)

20.4 pounds!

I’m now holding my size 12’s up with a belt and fitting comfortably into my 10’s. My watch band needs a new hole punched in it and my wedding band flops around on my finger if my hand gets even slightly chilly. Just for reference: when I joined WW, I would have to leave my rings off for days at a time because they were cutting into my skin and I was a size 14-16. I take my rings off when I wash my hands now, because I don’t want them to go down the drain. Also, I bought a sports bra on a whim last winter and failed to look at the size closely enough…it’s a 34DD and it fits now. Weird! I actually went to the Lululemon website and looked at their workout closes without getting all Emo. These things, much more than the scale, tell me that my efforts are paying off. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m only slightly concerned about Thanksgiving dinner. Since I’m preparing our meal, I can control the butter (not much!) and heavy cream (none! using non-fat condensed milk) in the recipes. I won’t make gravy at all, and the side dishes will be roasted winter veggies and salads with fresh fruit. I scored a sweet recipe for pumpkin pie that won’t pack on the points, too. I will enjoy Thanksgiving because my family will be with me, not because of what’s on my plate.

What I am concerned about: the upcoming cooking demonstration I’m going to do for Green Gate Olive Oils on December 3rd. The menu: hot cocoa, goat cheese tartlets with balsamic reduction, bruschetta, compound herbed butter, baked brie en croute with various toppings, potato soup, and jalepeno/bacon grilled cheese bites. Youch. Somewhere a Frenchman is weeping with joy…and Jenny Craig is having a stroke. This will be the day The Lights Go Out in Georgia…or at least my points plus counter. ๐Ÿ™‚

The average weight gain for an American female from Thanksgiving to Christmas is 8-10 pounds. My goal is to lose half of that, realistically. I figure I’ll maintain once or twice, gain once or twice, and lose a little here and there. I want to enjoy this holiday season and I think I’ll enjoy it more if I don’t ruin everything I’ve been working toward. So here’s to a few cookies, some hot cocoa, and lots and lots of good winter veggies. Cheers!

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Things that weigh 20 pounds:

nice rims

kettle bell
one tom turkey (turkey tom?) ...I'll ask Jimmy John's.